It’s hard to believe how quickly this year has slipped away. As we step into the final quarter, I find myself sitting quietly, reflecting on my life as a mom, and the self-care journey that has brought me to where I am today.

It was nearly two years ago that I sat down with a heart full of hope and a blank piece of paper, declaring to myself it was time for change.

I wrote down my goals, desperate to rewrite my life, to find a way out of the suffocating fog that had settled over me.

Little did I know, this would be the beginning of a transformative self-care journey that would test me, change me in ways I never imagined, and heal me in ways I so desperately needed.

So, how has my self-care journey transform my life as a mom? Let me walk you through the timeline of my experiences, the mental struggles I’ve faced as a first-time mom, the steps I’ve taken, and where I stand today.

My Motherhood Journey Begins

2018

In 2018, I became a mother for the first time. I thought I knew what to expect after childbirth, but nothing could have prepared me for the silent storm that followed.

Struggling mentally and emotionally, I was trying to balance my personal identity with motherhood responsibilities. I was coming to terms with the loss of my personal time, as my baby’s constant needs left little room for myself.

Worry and anxiety consumed me. I was constantly on edge, just trying to keep my baby alive. I had heard about sudden infant death syndrome, and the thought terrified me. I found myself checking my newborn’s breathing and heartbeat over and over.

And before I knew it, my mental health deteriorated, and  postpartum depression crept in quietly, like a shadow that I couldn’t shake off.

I never quite knew what to call it. I experienced the signs of postpartum depression, and this lasted for more than a year. But I never saw a therapist or reached out for help. I just tried to survive.

All I knew was that I had entered the hardest, darkest chapter of my life, where every day felt heavier than the last, and I wondered if I’d ever feel like myself again.

It was a kind of loneliness that’s hard to put into words, a quiet battle I fought within myself, barely recognizing the person staring back at me in the mirror.

I found myself going through the motions, smiling when I was supposed to, yet inside, I was lost. The love-at-first-sight moment that everyone talked about felt foreign to me, replaced by a strange emptiness and overwhelming guilt. 

I kept it all to myself, believing I had to be strong, and that admitting I was struggling would somehow make me less of a mother.

2019

When we moved to the island in 2019, I buried my struggles beneath the busyness of unpacking and settling into our new life. The island was supposed to be our paradise, but for me, it became an escape, a place where I could pretend everything was okay. But deep down, the unresolved feelings lingered.

I started noticing things about myself that I could no longer ignore, triggers that set me off in ways I didn’t understand and emotions that felt too heavy to carry.

The smallest things would overwhelm me, and I found myself reacting in ways that only made things worse. I was losing patience, feeling disconnected, and, worst of all, I could see how my struggles were affecting my daughter.

I wish I had known about postpartum emotional well-being strategies or the importance of mental health support for first-time moms. But back then, without easy access to the internet, I had nowhere to turn.

So, I pushed my struggles aside, convincing myself they would eventually fade—but they didn’t.

2020

Then, the pandemic hit in 2020. Stuck on the island, unable to see friends or family, I felt the weight of maternal isolation, amplifying the postpartum struggles I thought I had left behind.

Suddenly, I longed for the life I had before motherhood. I missed the person I used to be. 

Before becoming a mom, my days were full. I had spent nearly a decade in the corporate world, then left to chase my dream of going to culinary school. A year later, I started my own small baking business. But when I got pregnant, everything paused. My ambitions, my passions—my sense of self—all put on hold for motherhood.

I grieved the version of me I thought I had lost. The Carol I once knew felt like a stranger. And with that loss came a deep disconnection—not just from myself, but from my daughter. I loved her more than anything, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was slipping away.

I lived in a constant state of fight-or-flight, always on edge, with postpartum anxiety tightening its grip on me. No matter how much I tried to push it down, it refused to be ignored. It was there, staring me in the face, demanding to be acknowledged.

I didn’t know how to cope, so I began to believe this was just how my life was meant to be.

But in the midst of it all, island life became my unexpected refuge. With nowhere else to turn, I leaned into the simplicity of my surroundings. I spent more time outdoors, embracing the peace and quiet of the island. The salty breeze, the sound of the waves, the feeling of the sand beneath my feet—it grounded me when everything else felt unsteady.

I turned to cooking and baking, not just as a distraction, but as a way to reconnect with myself. It was one of the few things that still felt like me.

In those quiet moments in the kitchen, measuring ingredients, kneading dough, and recreating the familiar comfort of flavors I loved, I found glimpses of the person I thought I had lost.

2021

The year 2021 was a blur. The fear of COVID-19 still kept us isolated, and my mental health struggles felt never-ending. I was trapped in a cycle of anxiety, self-doubt, and exhaustion, barely holding myself together. I tried to cling to the person I used to be, but she felt like a distant memory.

I felt like I was failing—failing as a person and, most painfully, as a mother. But I had become an expert at hiding it. On the surface, everything seemed fine. Inside, I was drowning.

I wanted to walk away from it all—to escape the weight of it. But then, there was my daughter.

I knew I had to do something. I needed a reset. So, for the first time since becoming a mother, I planned a solo trip to the city—a short escape, just a few days to breathe. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

But when I reunited with close friends I hadn’t seen in years, I realized just how much I had missed being surrounded by people who truly knew me. The laughter, the familiar conversations, the reminder that I was more than just a struggling mom—it felt like a piece of myself was coming back to life.

But even before that trip, island life had quietly been healing me. When isolation felt suffocating, nature reminded me to breathe. I could step outside, feel the sun on my skin, and let the salty breeze wash over me. The sound of the waves and the serenity of island living became my solace.

Slowly, I started moving again—taking walks, feeling my body regain strength, and reconnecting with myself. It wasn’t an instant fix, but it was a start.

The Turning Point: The Beginning of My Self-Care Journey

2022

During my second pregnancy, my mental health began to spiral again. The weight of depression crept in, growing heavier with each passing day. Waves of emotional outbursts and anxiety consumed me, and even after giving birth, the darkness lingered for months.

The first three months were a blur of sleepless nights, overwhelming fears, and a heart weighed down by uncertainty.

Once again, I felt like my life had to be put on hold.

We stayed in the city for a few months, trapped in a tiny condo that only made my anxiety worse. The constant noise, the lack of space, and my growing anxiety over my children getting sick in such a crowded environment drained me completely.

When we finally returned to the island, something inside me shifted. Stepping outside, feeling the fresh air on my skin, and hearing the crash of the waves brought a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Island life was more than just home—it was my healing space.

Now, I am a mother of two. And as I looked at my daughters, I knew one thing for certain—I didn’t want them to grow up feeling the way I did. I didn’t want them to carry the weight of unspoken struggles. I wanted to break the cycle. I wanted to be the mother they deserved.

It was in October of that year that I made a promise to myself. I wrote down a five-year plan, a set of goals that would guide me out of the darkness. I knew I had to take control of my life, not just for myself but for my daughters. 

They needed a mother who was whole, not one who was merely surviving.

And without realizing it, I had already taken the first steps on a self-care journey—one that would transform not just my mental health but my entire life as a mom.

2023

This was the year I took my first real steps towards that goal. I opened a small business by the beach, a place where I could connect with people and rediscover a part of myself I had forgotten.

For the first time, I met actual friends and community from the island, bringing a much-needed sense of normalcy back into my life.

However, balancing a business, breastfeeding, and the relentless demands of motherhood proved to be too much. I had to close the business after a few months, and the familiar feelings of failure, guilt, and fear of uncertainty crept back in.

I was spiraling again, but this time, I did something different—I reached out for help. I admitted that I couldn’t do it all on my own and that small act of vulnerability was the first step towards real healing.

Seeking fulfillment beyond being a mother, I turned my attention to acquiring new skills that would help bring my dreams to life. I immersed myself in online classes, determined to achieve something more for myself. I was committed to creating a future that aligned with my deepest aspirations.

Embracing My Self-Care Journey

2024

This year has been a revelation. I made a commitment to myself to embrace a holistic approach to my self-care journey. I began taking my goals seriously, not just writing them down but actively pursuing them.

Physically:

I discovered the healing power of movement. Exercise became my sanctuary, a way to feel alive when the world felt too heavy. It wasn’t just about fitness; it was about reclaiming my mental health and well-being. I learned that nutrition and sleep were my allies in this battle, each one a vital piece of the puzzle that was my health.

Together, they became the cornerstone of my wellness and self-care journey.

Emotionally:

I found strength in mindfulness, guided meditation, and gratitude. Journaling and writing this blog became a window into my soul, helping me understand myself on a deeper level through the power of words. These practices became my anchors, helping me navigate the stormy seas of motherhood.

They taught me to take control of my emotions, to respond with intention rather than react impulsively, and to find peace in the present moment.

Mentally:

I fed my mind with knowledge. I read books, listened to podcasts, and took online courses that helped me grow as a person and master new skills. I immersed myself in self-help books, revisited my psychology degree, and sought out the insights of experts.

This wasn’t a distraction; it was an act of empowerment, a way to take control of my narrative and rewrite it on my terms.

Spiritually:

I carved out time for myself, making this a non-negotiable, even if it was just a few stolen minutes during the day. I reconnected with nature letting its calmness soothe my soul.

Those quiet moments enabled me to reflect, to listen to the wisdom of the universe, and to find clarity in the chaos of my life.

Socially:

I set aside time to spend with newfound friends, savoring the laughter, connection, and the sense of belonging they’ve brought into my quiet island life.

Personal Growth:

I embraced my love for learning. I taught myself new skills, like building this website from scratch, and rekindled my passion for writing by sharing my experiences through my personal blog.

This blog is a safe haven for moms—a place where you feel seen, understood, and reminded that you are never alone in this journey, unlike how I felt as a first-time mom.

Even though I couldn’t reopen my small business as of this time, I found joy in cooking for my children and sharing my passion for food and home cooking with others. These small victories were my reminders that I was capable. And that, I was enough.

Moving Forward with Self-Care: A Message of Hope for Every Mother

The truth is, my self-care journey has been far from perfect. 

There are still days when I feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, when the weight of motherhood and life feels too heavy to bear.

Every day brings its own challenges, and sometimes, it feels like an uphill battle I’m not sure I’ll win. The mental and emotional struggles still creep in, reminding me that this path isn’t easy.

But even on those hardest days, I continue to move forward, knowing that progress isn’t always linear. I’ve recognized that I’m the only one who can truly make a difference in my life.

I’ve accepted that, despite the setbacks, I alone have the power to steer the course of my life forward.

What’s different now is that I don’t let those tough moments define me. I take action, I set boundaries, and I stay focused on my goals. I’ve learned that I can’t control everything around me, but I can control how I respond.

I no longer let the chaos and negativity around me dictate my path.  Instead, I hold onto my own strength, using it to shape my life and the lives of my children.

My self-care journey is a continuous process, an ongoing adventure of highs and lows filled with lessons, self-growth, and profound self-discovery. As I continue forward, I’m dedicated to sharing my story to offer you guidance and inspiration providing insight and encouragement for your own self-care journey.

To every mother reading this, I want you to know that self-care is essential for your well-being. It’s the key to finding yourself in the chaos, to becoming the mother and the person you want to be.

I invite you to take the first steps on your self-care journey. Download your free e-book and see how it can create lasting positive change in your life. Inside, you’ll find essential insights and practical tools to help you start your self-care journey and identify what you truly need to thrive.

You don’t need drastic changes. Start small, focus on what works for you, and make steady progress through consistent actions.

Even though our journeys are unique and self-care looks different for each of us, I believe that embracing a holistic self-care journey can truly make a difference in your life.

Mama, your journey matters. Life can be hard, but you deserve to shine and feel your best. Let’s support each other and find the strength to thrive together. ❤️