I think I’m a bad mom. Maybe I’m not cut out for this.
That thought repeats in my head more often than I’d like to admit. I never say it out loud, but it creeps in during the quiet moments…
When I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted. When my patience runs thin, and the weight of motherhood feels heavier than I ever imagined.
It shows up when I quietly compare myself to every other mom who seems to have it all together.
Not because I don’t love my children. I love them more than anything. But motherhood has a way of magnifying every doubt, every old wound, every part of me that feels broken.
And the guilt that follows feels heavy, like a weight pressing down on me, almost suffocating.
The guilt of not enjoying motherhood the way I’m supposed to.
The guilt of believing that good mothers aren’t meant to feel this way.
But what if that painful thought isn’t a sign that I’m failing?
What if feeling like a bad mom is actually telling me something important? About what I need, what I’ve been carrying for far too long, and who I’m being asked to become?
The Lowest Point: My Emotional Rock Bottom
It didn’t happen all at once. It started quietly.
I gave birth, and instead of the overwhelming love-at-first-sight moment everyone talks about, there was numbness.
Confusion.
A silence inside me that felt wrong.
That was the first time the thought crossed my mind…
Something must be wrong with me.
Other mothers seemed to glow with joy, and here I was, just trying to get through each day.
The guilt came quickly. Heavy and relentless.
Because what kind of mother cries while rocking her baby to sleep when she’s supposed to be grateful, fulfilled, and happy?
I loved my child, but I didn’t feel the way I was told I should. And that made me feel broken.
So I stayed quiet.
I learned how to function on the outside. I fed, bathed, and showed up. I smiled when I needed to. I told myself to be strong, to push through, to stop being dramatic.
But inside, I was unraveling.
Every day felt like survival, not living. I was holding it together just enough for everyone else, while slowly falling apart where no one could see.
Then my second child came along, and everything felt heavier.
I didn’t want to disappear into motherhood completely. I wanted to be more than just mom.
I tried to go back to who I used to be, to feel like myself again. I started a small business and pushed harder than I should have, believing I could juggle it all. Instead, I lost my footing and fell again.
That’s when the spiral began.
I felt like a failure in every direction…
Failing as a mother, failing as a woman, and failing myself.
What I was carrying went far deeper than exhaustion. It was a quiet, constant unhappiness that settled into my body and refused to leave. Over time, that misery turned into emotional paralysis.
I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t function the way I used to. My mind was constantly racing, and my body was constantly tired. I was there, but not really present. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t recognize myself anymore.
And most painfully, I wasn’t the mother I wanted to be.
The voice inside my head grew louder: You’re failing. You’re selfish. You can’t do this.
I convinced myself my children were suffering because of me. They deserved a mother who could give more patience, more warmth, more presence.
I carried the weight of believing I was failing them, and that belief alone was crushing.
In those moments, I felt selfish. I felt unworthy.
I truly believed I was a bad mom.
The Turning Point: Motherhood Forced Inner Work
I didn’t want to fail my children. They deserved a good life. They deserved a mother who was present, grounded, and whole.
And somewhere deep inside, I knew it was my responsibility to become that mother—not by being perfect, but by being honest about where I was.
So I started small.
It began with a pen and an empty page. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing. I just knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was.
As I wrote my feelings on those empty pages, I realized I wasn’t only carrying my own doubts. I was also carrying old messages from my childhood that told me I was never enough.
Writing it down didn’t make the pain disappear, but it showed me where healing needed to begin.
I wrote down the kind of mother I wanted to be and the life I dreamed of creating, not just for myself, but for my children.
And slowly, I started writing my way back to myself.
I turned to self-care. Not the kind that looks good online, but the kind that helps you thrive.
I paid attention to the little things that quietly shaped my days. I tried to sleep when I could. I moved my body, even when I didn’t feel like it. I chose food that made me feel nourished instead of depleted.
Small choices, but they made a difference.
I also gave myself permission to feel joy again. I created small pockets of time just for me. Moments that didn’t belong to anyone else…
Time to breathe.
Time to sit with my thoughts.
Time to fill my own cup, slowly and without guilt.
Self-reflection became my anchor. I wrote honestly, without judgment. I let my feelings spill onto the page—the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the longing.
Through journaling, I began to understand my needs, my limits, and the parts of me that had been ignored for too long.
And then there was nature.
The island became my sanctuary. The ocean held me in ways I didn’t know I needed. I walked barefoot, breathed deeply, and let the waves quiet my mind.
In nature, I felt grounded again. Less heavy. More myself.
Motherhood didn’t give me a choice but to look inward. And that inner work—slow, uncomfortable, and deeply personal—became the beginning of my healing journey.
The Transformation: Becoming Yourself Again
I didn’t change overnight. I didn’t suddenly feel confident or put together. Motherhood didn’t become easier, but I became more aware.
I started to see that feeling like a bad mom wasn’t coming from failure. It was coming from unmet needs, unspoken pain, and parts of me that had been ignored for too long.
The more I listened instead of judging myself, the quieter the shame became.
Motherhood wasn’t breaking me. It was revealing me. It was asking me to slow down, to look inward, to heal the parts of myself I never had time to face before. And that realization changed everything.
The Gentle Truth for Other Moms
Motherhood taught me a powerful lesson I never expected—to look inward. To slow down. To reflect. To do the inner work I had been avoiding for years.
Becoming a mother brought me to the lowest point of my life. I felt helpless, overwhelmed by self-doubt, and consumed by self-pity.
I believed those feelings meant I was failing… that I wasn’t strong enough for this role. But now, I see the truth more clearly.
Motherhood didn’t break me to punish me. It broke me open so I could finally come home to myself.
The pain I felt wasn’t random. It was an invitation. An invitation to heal the parts of me that had been ignored for too long. To face old wounds, and to break cycles I didn’t want to pass on.
Through that work, I began to discover my strength, my resilience, and the depth of my capabilities. I found clarity and purpose.
Feeling like a bad mom didn’t mean I was one. It meant I was becoming aware. And awareness is uncomfortable, but it’s also where transformation begins.
So Mama, if you feel lost, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.
If you’re filled with self-doubt, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.
And if you’ve hit your lowest point, it doesn’t mean this is the end of your story.
Sometimes, that’s where the truest growth begins.
The guilt of not enjoying motherhood the way you’re supposed to…
The exhaustion that slowly turns into self-blame…
These feelings don’t make you a bad mother. They are signs that something inside you needs care, compassion, and attention.
Motherhood has a way of revealing what needs healing. And when you listen, when you choose reflection over judgment, you don’t just become a better mother.
You become more yourself.
Because motherhood is not just about raising children. It’s also about raising yourself.
And the discomfort you feel along the way isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s part of the becoming.
If you’ve ever thought, ‘I’m a bad mom,’ pause before you believe it. That thought might not be condemning you. It might be inviting you home.
The fact that you’re questioning yourself means you’re awake, and awareness is where real change begins.
