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What Does Healing in Motherhood Look Like and How Can It Help You Become a Better Mom?

A mom smiling at her daughter enjoying the sunset at the beach, reflecting her healing in motherhood journey.

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If you’re a mom just trying to get through the day, healing in motherhood might feel unrealistic and impractical. Maybe even impossible. 

When you’re drowning in responsibilities, completely drained, and stuck on autopilot, it’s easy to dismiss healing as something extra—nice in theory, but not something you actually need.

But what if healing in motherhood is the key to becoming the mom you genuinely want to be? What if it’s the missing piece in finding yourself again?

I used to think healing was just some woo-woo idea—a complete waste of time. I never thought it mattered until I saw how deeply my past was shaping the way I lived today.

For the longest time, I believed I was moving forward. But in reality, I was carrying the weight of my past—unhealed wounds, past hurts, and unresolved emotions I didn’t even realize were shaping how I showed up as a mother. 

I was overwhelmed, lost, and stuck in survival mode. 

That’s when I realized: healing in motherhood is essential. True emotional healing for moms isn’t about erasing the past, it’s about freeing yourself from it.

Because when you heal, you don’t just survive motherhood; you thrive in it.

Healing is self-care. It’s how you reclaim yourself. It’s your path to feeling lighter, more present, more you.

But what does healing in motherhood look like? How can emotional healing help you become a better mom? And most importantly, what steps can you take to start your healing journey as a mother?

What Does Healing Look Like for Moms? My Story

I listened to a podcast from Simon Sinek, A Bit of Optimism, where he spoke with Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, an online parenting advice service. What she said left me speechless:

A mom going through healing in motherhood enjoying a wonderful time with her kids at the beach watching the sunset.

“When we become parents, everything unhealed about our childhood gets triggered over and over with our children. We think that our children heal us, but they trigger us. We have a choice: to allow the generational trauma to get passed on or use this opportunity to heal and be the sturdiest, most confident version of ourselves.”

Her words hit me hard like she was speaking directly to me. 

This was exactly why I started my healing and self-care journey in motherhood. 

Motherhood was beautiful, but it was also overwhelming. I longed to be more than just ‘mom’—to chase my dreams without guilt. But every time I tried, it felt selfish.

Motherhood was both my greatest joy and my biggest limitation, and I felt suffocated under the weight of relentless expectations both from the world and the impossible standards I placed on myself.

Deep down, I knew I wasn’t just exhausted; I felt empty. I had lost myself—my dreams, my passions, my joy. And the hardest part? I thought this was just how it was supposed to be.

Neglecting myself took its toll, not just on me but on my family. I started noticing things about myself that I could no longer ignore. 

Triggers I didn’t understand. Emotions that felt too heavy. 

I was losing patience, feeling distant, and, worst of all, I saw how my struggles were affecting my kids.

I felt torn between who I was and who I was supposed to be. I kept asking myself:

Do my needs even matter anymore?

Can I be a good mother and still make space for my own happiness?

Am I unknowingly passing my struggles on to my kids?

That last question terrified me. There were patterns I kept repeating. Deep down, I knew:

There were wounds I had never healed, and they were shaping the way I showed up as a mother.

One day, I had a realization: To take care of my children, I first had to take care of myself. So, I made a choice—a promise to myself. 

I chose to break the cycle. To embrace self-care and healing not as an afterthought but as a way of life. To heal, to grow, and to show up fully for myself and my children. 

I chose to stop surviving and start thriving.

By honoring my own needs, I began teaching my children a powerful lesson:

✨ That a mother’s happiness matters.

✨ That we don’t have to choose between being great moms and being fulfilled women.

✨ That caring for ourselves is one of the greatest acts of love we can show our families.

I started small—spending alone time without guilt, setting boundaries, and rediscovering my passions. And as I changed, everything else changed, too. My patience grew, my energy returned, and most importantly, I felt alive again.

How Emotional Healing Can Make You a Better Mom

Many moms struggle with healing in motherhood because they carry the weight of past guilt, stress, and self-doubt. We push our pain aside, thinking that’s what a “good mom” does. 

But the truth is: Ignoring your need for healing and setting your growth aside doesn’t make you a better mother. It only deepens the wounds and makes the weight heavier.

I used to believe that motherhood was about sacrificing every part of myself. That my exhaustion, frustration, and emotional burnout were just part of the job. But I’ve learned that taking care of myself is necessary to becoming the mom my children deserve. 

When I chose to heal, I became more patient, more present, and deeply connected not just with my children, but with myself.

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never have bad days. I still struggle. I still have moments where doubt creeps in. But the difference now? I have the tools to navigate it. I’m no longer stuck in survival mode. I’m growing, thriving, and showing my children what resilience and self-care truly look like.

This is what healing in motherhood is about. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about breaking cycles, rewriting your story, and giving yourself the same love and grace you pour into your family.

So if you’ve ever wondered how to heal as a mom or felt stuck in mom burnout recovery, know this: Healing is possible. You don’t have to carry the weight of the past forever. 

You deserve to heal. You deserve to grow. And you deserve to be the mom you truly want to be.

Steps to Begin Your Healing in Motherhood

Healing in motherhood isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding yourself. It’s about recognizing the patterns that hold you back, letting go of the past, and embracing the present so you can become the mom you truly want to be. 

But where do you begin?

1. Identify Your Triggers

Triggers are emotional reactions rooted in past experiences. They show up in everyday motherhood—when your child refuses to listen, when the house is a mess, when you’re overwhelmed and snap without meaning to. 

Often, these reactions aren’t just about the present moment but about something deeper—unresolved wounds from your past.

Start by noticing what sets you off. What situations make you feel anxious, angry, or unworthy? Instead of blaming yourself, get curious. 

Your triggers hold valuable clues about what needs healing. The more you understand them, the more you can respond with intention instead of react.

2. Let Go of the Past and Embrace the Present

Many moms stay stuck in cycles of guilt, resentment, or regret—constantly replaying the past, trying to make sense of what happened, or wishing things had been different. 

But healing happens in the present, not in the past.

Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring what hurt you. It means making peace with it so it no longer controls your life. 

One way to do this is through self-compassion, reminding yourself that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Instead of trying to rewrite the past, focus on who you want to become now.

3. Prioritize Self-Care Without Guilt

Healing is self-care, and self-care isn’t selfish. When you take care of yourself, you show up better for your children. Start with small, consistent acts of self-care:

1. Set boundaries to protect your time and energy.

2. Give yourself permission to rest without feeling guilty.

3. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, journaling, or simply taking a walk alone.

4. Rewire Your Inner Dialogue

Your thoughts shape your reality. Many moms carry self-doubt, believing they aren’t doing enough or that they’re failing their children. But healing means shifting that narrative. 

Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Replace criticism with kindness.

Instead of, “I’m a terrible mom for losing my patience,” try, “I had a hard moment, but I am learning and growing.”

5. Seek Support and Connection

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Whether it’s therapy, a supportive friend, a moms’ group, or a community of women who understand your struggles, surrounding yourself with support makes the journey easier. 

You don’t have to do it all alone.

6. Embrace Progress, Not Perfection

Healing isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel strong; other days, you’ll struggle. And that’s okay. 

The goal isn’t to become a “perfect” mom—it’s to become a more present, aware, and fulfilled version of yourself. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

Healing in motherhood

Healing in motherhood is a journey, not a destination. Every small, intentional step you take isn’t just for you—it’s for your children, for the future you’re shaping, and for the mother you deserve to be.

You’re breaking cycles, rewriting your story, and creating a life where love, presence, and emotional freedom guide your motherhood.

Healing isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about reclaiming yourself in the present. It’s about sitting with your pain, acknowledging it, and then gently letting it go. And the most powerful way to do that? 

Self-love. Choosing to care for yourself not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, is an act of courage.

A mom on her back walking towards reflecting on her journey of healing in motherhood and an IslanderMomLife motivational quote on self-love.

Healing is possible. Growth is possible. You are capable of change.

So start today. Not for perfection, but for progress. Not just for your children, but for you

Because you deserve to heal. You deserve to thrive. And the mom you want to be?

She’s already within you—waiting for you to choose her.

If this post spoke to your heart, chances are it will do the same for another mom who needs to hear this today.

Tap the share button below and post it to your favorite mom group or on Instagram. Tag me @islandermomlife so I can send you a virtual hug!

Let’s support each other on this healing journey in motherhood! 💛

 
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