Listening more to your kids might surprise you. Their wisdom can be unexpected, profound, and even life-changing. I didn’t realize just how much I could learn from my children—until one late afternoon when my daughter taught me a lesson I’ll never forget.
A Moment of Chaos Turned into Clarity
It was a typical late afternoon. My kids were in the tub, splashing, giggling, and making a watery bathroom mess. I usually give them a few minutes to play while I tidy up in the kitchen next door.
Suddenly, the laughter turned into screaming and crying.
Crying always makes my heart race, and having my tasks interrupted only adds to my flustered state. Instantly, frustration bubbled up inside me—the chaos, the mess, the noise.
Without thinking, I stormed into the bathroom, angry and ready to deal with the mess my toddler had started. But then, a small voice cut through in the middle of the chaos.
“Mom, you’re not thinking straight.”
I froze. At first, I couldn’t even process what my eldest daughter had said.
“What did you say?” I snapped.
Calmly, she repeated, “I said, Mom, you’re not thinking straight.”
My first instinct was to get defensive. After all, when I was a kid, talking back to a parent was considered disrespectful. But as her words sank in, I realized they were true.
She was right. I wasn’t thinking straight.
And in that moment, my frustration melted into laughter. Here was my little girl, a child who saw through my emotions and told me what I couldn’t see for myself.
The Hidden Wisdom of Children
That day taught me a lesson I’ll never forget: listening more to our kids can reveal wisdom we don’t expect.
Children have a way of speaking the truth plainly, without any pretense or hesitation. They see us in ways we don’t always see ourselves. They sense our emotions in ways we sometimes overlook.
Kids may be young, but their observations are sharp. Their words come from a place of innocence, free from the influence of social norms or pretenses.
My little girl saw something in me that I hadn’t even recognized in myself. She had the wisdom to call it out, not out of defiance, but with the innocence and honesty that only a child can have.
Since then, I’ve noticed just how much my kids observe and understand.
One evening, as I quietly cleaned up after yet another mess, I felt my frustration creeping in. Without a word from me, my eldest looked up and said, “I’m sorry, Mom. It’s so hard to take care of us.”
Her words caught me off guard.
My heart sank as I knelt beside her and said, “Oh, my love, it’s not hard to take care of you. Mama’s just tired. I’m sorry for making you feel that way.”
Moments like these remind me how deeply our emotions affect our children. They don’t just hear what we say—they feel it.
Why Listening More Matters
Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned speaker and bestselling author, once said:
"Spend 30 minutes a day with your children just listening to them. Be there for them. Spend time with them. When we were kids, that’s all we wanted from our parents."
Those words resonate deeply with me now. Listening more to our kids isn’t just about hearing their words—it’s about truly being present, understanding their needs, and giving them the space to express themselves without judgment.
Here’s what listening more has taught me:
- Patience: My kids have shown me how to slow down and be present in the moment.
- Empathy: By understanding their emotions, I’ve become more empathetic toward their struggles and joys.
- Self-Awareness: Their innocent observations hold a mirror to my actions and emotions, helping me grow as a parent and as a person.
One of the greatest surprises is how much wisdom they have about life’s simplicity. My kids have reminded me that love, kindness, and presence matter more than perfection.
Why Listening More Matters
Listening more can:
- Help our children feel valued and understood.
- Build stronger communication and trust.
- Teach us to be more self-aware and emotionally present.
- Reveal lessons about patience, empathy, love, and the simple joys of life.
Children often teach us in ways we don’t expect. Through their eyes, they show us where we shine and where we need to grow.
Their wisdom is raw and unfiltered, exactly the truth we need to hear.
The Key Take Away
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this, it’s this: listen more.
Here are some simple ways to start:
- Pause and Be Present: The next time your child speaks, stop what you’re doing and give them your full attention.
- Ask Questions: Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask them how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking.
- Resist Reacting: Resist the urge to immediately react or lecture, and simply let them share their world with you.
- Create Space for Their Voice: Spend 30 minutes a day just listening to them—no interruptions, no lectures, just connection.
You might be amazed at what you learn—not just about them, but about yourself.
Our kids have a way of seeing life with clarity we often lose in the chaos of adulthood.
By listening more, we give them the gift of being heard—and receive the gift of their wisdom in return.
So tomorrow, try it out. Set aside time to simply listen to your kids. You may just discover they have more to teach you than you ever imagined.