I thought becoming a mom would complete me.
And in many ways, it did.
But no one prepared me for the moment I started missing the woman I was before…
The one with big dreams, bold goals, and fire in her chest.
I thought something was wrong with me.
Because how could I feel unfulfilled when I had the very thing I prayed for?
The guilt was heavy. The shame was silent.
And for a while, I believed I was a bad mom for wanting more than just being a mom.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to realize:
You can love your children more than life itself, and still want to be more than just a mom.
💔 The Unspoken Shame of Wanting to Be More Than Just a Mom
Before I became a mom, I had big dreams.
I spent almost a decade climbing the corporate ladder—chasing growth, working hard, and building a life I believed would give me purpose.
Then I left that life behind. I enrolled in culinary school, determined to pursue my passion for food and create something of my own.
I was finally stepping into the woman I always wanted to be.
And then… I became a mom.
Everything changed. My goals. My business plans. The version of me that once felt so alive, all paused indefinitely.
And I thought I’d be okay with that. Motherhood was part of my dream, too.
I thought it would fill every part of me.
I thought I was built for this.
But no one tells you about this part of motherhood where it feels unbearably lonely even when your heart is full.
The part where you miss the woman you used to be… but feel like you have to bury her to be a “good mom.”
The part where you hold your baby, overflowing with love… and still feel like something inside you is missing.
Not because you don’t love them. God, you love them more than anything.
But because you’re still in there too.
The woman with ideas.
With ambition.
With creativity.
With hunger.
With dreams too big to stay quiet.
Then out of nowhere, guilt rushes in.
Who do you think you are to want more?
Isn’t motherhood enough?
Are you being ungrateful? Selfish?
So, you hide those thoughts. You silence your desires.
You pretend your dreams don’t matter anymore.
Because you’re afraid of what people will say.
Because you’re afraid of what you’ll think of yourself.
But what happens when we keep pushing her aside? What happens when we keep silencing the parts of us that long to be seen?
What Happens When We Ignore Ourselves
I went through the motions, trying so hard to be the best mom I could.
I convinced myself that thinking about my dreams was selfish. That this little human who needed me, who depended on me for everything, should always come first.
So I set my dreams aside. Told myself maybe I should just forget about them entirely.
But deep down… something didn’t feel right.
I didn’t feel like I fit into this new identity of “just mom.” I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore, and that terrified me.
Was I broken?
Was I ungrateful?
Was I… a bad mom?
The guilt was suffocating.
So I tried harder. Gave more. Pushed myself to meet the impossible standards in my head and the ones society laid out for me. But I was barely holding on. I felt like I was just surviving.
As time passed, I started to pull away…
From friends. From family.
And most painfully, from my daughter.
I felt disconnected. Not because I didn’t love her. But because I didn’t know who I was anymore.
I had lost myself.
I didn’t know what I wanted. Who I wanted to be.
I felt trapped in a life that looked perfect on the outside, but inside, I was sinking… Drowning in guilt, shame, and loneliness.
And I couldn’t say it out loud. Because what kind of mother admits that she’s unhappy?
That she misses parts of herself?
That she dreams of something more than just being a mom?
So I stayed quiet. Until one day, I looked at my daughter… and felt a wall between us.
And that broke me.
That was my wake-up call.
I realized that by abandoning myself, I wasn’t showing up as the mother my daughter deserved.
I was short-tempered. Numb. Constantly triggered. Emotionally unavailable. Not because I didn’t love her, but because I was depleted. Empty.
And somewhere deep inside, I knew… No one was coming to save me.
If I wanted to change…
If I wanted to feel alive again, I had to save myself.
From Surviving to Thriving
That season of darkness taught me a truth I’ll never forget:
Ignoring yourself doesn’t make you a better mother. It only pulls you further away from the woman you’re grieving and the mother you long to be.
I used to think I was selfish for wanting more than just being a mom. But the truth is, you can love your children fiercely… and still want more for yourself.
So I stopped waiting for permission.
I stopped apologizing for dreaming.
And I stopped believing the lie that wanting more meant I loved my daughters any less.
Instead, I began asking myself:
What if I could be both?
What if I could raise my daughters and rise into the woman I’m meant to become?
That’s when everything started to shift.
Little by little, I started rebuilding myself from the inside out.
I started doing the inner work—slowly, quietly, intentionally.
I set small goals.
I learned how to care for myself again, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
I devoured books, podcasts, and anything I could find on healing, self-care, and identity.
I tuned out the noise… and finally started listening to my own voice.
I decided I didn’t want to just survive motherhood anymore. I wanted to thrive.
Not just for me, but for my daughters. Because they deserve a mother who is present, loving, and joyful.
And I deserve to be her. A mother who is whole, fulfilled, and on fire for life again.
And somewhere along the way, I started writing.
The hard questions.
The honest reflections.
The small steps that reminded me: I matter too.
I didn’t know it at the time, but those pages would become so much more than a journal.
They became a roadmap. A healing space. A bridge back to myself.
And that’s how More Than Just Mom was born.
You’re More Than Just A Mom
Mama, I wanted to let you know,
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more than just being a mom.
You’re not selfish. You’re not ungrateful.
You’re simply human.
A woman with layers and longings. A mother and a dreamer.
You don’t stop being you the moment you become a mom. I know how hard it is to admit that out loud, especially in a world that tells us motherhood should be enough.
But being more than just a mom doesn’t make you less of one.
When you choose to honor your needs, when you follow what lights you up, you’re not abandoning your child.
✨ You’re showing them how to live fully.
✨ You’re showing them that you matter too.
✨ And that caring for yourself is one of the greatest acts of love you can offer your family.
You were never meant to just survive motherhood…
You were meant to thrive in it.
You were someone before you became a mom.
She’s still there. And she still matters.
Yes, you can love your kids deeply… And still want more than just being a mom.
Want to Take This Further? How More Than Just a Mom Can Help You Thrive 🩵
Mama, if any part of my story felt like yours…
If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in the chaos of motherhood…
If you’re tired of just surviving and longing to feel like you again…
More Than Just a Mom was created for you.
It’s the resource I wish I had when I felt lost, numb, and guilty for wanting more than just being a mom.
It’s not just a journal. It’s a healing space. A gentle guide back to yourself.
It’s for the mothers who are done pretending they’re fine.
For the women who want to stop merely surviving and start truly living again.
At its heart, More Than Just a Mom is about learning how to care for yourself fully, deeply, and holistically.
Because thriving in motherhood starts by tending to you—your mind, your body, your heart, and your spirit.
Inside, you’ll find:
- The exact questions that helped me come back to life
- Expert-backed self-care insights
- Gentle but powerful prompts
- Space to process your emotions
- Loving reminders that you still matter
You don’t have to choose between being a good mom and being a fulfilled woman.
Because you were never meant to just survive motherhood. You were meant to thrive in it.
